Wednesday, June 18, 2008

to vacay and back

it went by too fast, the time away from nebraska, the time with my family. as always the day comes when reality hits and my flight seems all too close to departure and i am wishing for more time. i am greedy now, with my time. i don't know what i enjoyed more, the sights of new york or the time with my mom and uncle, when every small joke is something to laugh at, the happy go lucky's, that's us. that will be a hard vacation to top.
my internet was down for a week or so before i left and i was having blogging withdraws, so i would come home, type and save...ready for the day my internet was working properly.
here's one from two weeks ago.
At 3am my fingers become tiny icicles. When the people in the outside world decide they’d rather sleep than annoy ER nurses and our patient load comes to a screeching halt, I start to freeze over. Lack of movement, lack of sleep, bad circulation…a problem I’ve decided isn’t a result of one but many things and this annoys me. Not the lack of patients or the lack of movement, I’m content just sitting around reading but I’m annoyed with the freezing fingers. Inevitably someone comes in, my fingers find their way to the patient’s unsuspecting skin and a comment is made, “my! your hands are so cold” or “DO YOU HAVE TO TOUCH ME WITH THOSE ICEY FINGERS?!?!”…it’s one or the other, but it’s always something. I have decided to carry gloves around with me, at work anyways. It could be 80 degrees out and I’m the nurse on the inside with the thermal shirt under her scrubs, the hoodie over them and the gloves covering her hands. You think she’s crazy, she thinks she’s smart, both of you are part right.
I bought speakers for my IPOD which I took to work to listen to during these times of utmost boredom. Today I sang “how deep is your love” at least 20 times. The song, remade by The Bird and The Bee is on the SATC soundtrack and I’ve made everyone at work listen to the whole album numerous times. I sang it without realizing how incredibly beautiful the lyrics are,
“I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave
And its me you need to show

How deep is your love
I really need to learn
cause were living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You’re the light in my deepest darkest hour
You’re my savior when I fall
And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do
And its me you need to show”
I should be asleep right now instead of copying and pasting lyrics onto my blogspot. I needed you to know that my love is deep. And my fingers….well they’re still icy cold.

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